Bar Stories
by biawutnow
Summary: All your favortie Naruto characters visit a bar and pour out their heart to an unsuspecting barmaid.
1. Chapter 1

In the mood for something stupid? Then you've come to the right place

* * *

Lee's story

* * *

The atmosphere in the bar was one of peace. Laughter among friends, the sounds of the night's football game, and the smell of smoke and buffalo wings were among the many observable things in the room that night. 

Through the oak front doors came a young man, no older than 16 years old, and considerably under the legal drinking age. He was drenched from the rain outside, and he took a second to dry his shoes off before proceeding further into the bar.

He looked around for a second before spotting a pretty barmaid, and he approached her with an air of confidence.

"I heard this bar serves to minors. Is that true?" he asked, grinning.

"Yes. But its going to cost you an extra two dollars a drink" she replied, brushing the brunette hair out of her face to reveal a pair of brilliant green eyes.

"Oh come on..." the young man said, searching for some sign of identification. "Yumi"

"Sorry, thats the policy. Take it or leave it" she said, turning to serve another customer a drink.

The boy sighed before taking a $20 out of his wallet. Immediately Yumi took the bill from him and served him his first drink of the night.

"Whats your name, sweety?" She asked, propping her elbow on the wooden bar.

"Rock Lee" he replied, gratefully taking a large gulp of his beverage.

"Rock Lee, huh? Why is a young guy like you already drinking?" she inquired, her face truly curious.

Rock Lee set his glass down and answered with hesitancy.

"It's this girl..."

"Oh? What about her?"

Lee took another drink before continuing.

"I asked her out on a date today. And I got rejected for the FOURTH time" He said bitterly.

"Trouble of the heart, eh? I've had my share of those"

Lee didn't say anything else, instead he finished his drink and let out a satisfied belch.

"Goodness honey, do you need another already?" She asked, fetching a glass and pouring him some more alcohol.

"I just don't get it" Lee said, after pounding down the second drink.

"Whats not to like about me?" he demanded, swaying dangerously in his stool.

"Erm-" Yumi said.

"Oh, the eyebrows? THE BOWLCUT? MY WEIRD EYES?"

"Calm down" She said, attemtping to comfort him by patting his shoulder.

"I don't understand! Why do all girls like assholes?" Lee asked, sloshing his third drink across the counter.

"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it, girls should like me!" Lee shouted, knocking over a bowl of peanuts and standing up. His face had turned red with the alcohol.

"WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME SAKURA?!"

"Not again..." Yumi sighed, heading for the phone.

Lee smashed his fist into a tv before letting out a startled cry at the blood that flowed from his wounded hand.

"Guy sensei! The power of youth does NOT CONQUER ALL! THE POWER OF YOUTH DOES NOT CONQUER ALL!" he cried in disbelief.

Lee put up quite a struggle as he was escorted from the bar by two ANBU officers.

All in all, the destruction from his visit amounted to $1,300 dollars.

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Yay! My friend is writing the next part for Sasuke. Please tell us who else you would like to visit the bar.


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter was written by my friend, Inuyasha4eva.

Major props to her on this one. I can only hope to write as well as she does someday.

* * *

It was later in the evening. A lone figure walked down the street. His hands were in his pocket and the various street lamps reflected off his jet black hair. His onyx eyes shifted to the side of the street, where the bars sign was illuminated. Taking his hands out of his pockets, he decided he might as well go inside.

As soon as he walked in his eyes widened a miniscule amount. He slowly made his way around broken glass and fallen bar stools. The lights inside the bar made other details about the man clearer than when he was outside. A very prominent new detail would be the red and white fan on the back of his shirt.

"What the hell happened here?" Sasuke asked as he stared at what remained of the bar. He approached the counter where they apparently were still serving drinks. He sat on one of bar-stools that was still intact.

"Some psychotic kid ripped the place apart," Yumi said with a frown on her face as she continued to wipe off the debris from the counter. Sasuke just sniffed and read the selection of alcohol they had. He knew this place served minors. That was why he had wandered over here.

"Can I have some hot sake?" Sasuke asked plainly. For the first time since Sasuke had come into the bar, did Yumi look up and notice him. She was taken by surprise when her eyes met the very attractive man in front of her.

"How old are you, Hon?" Yumi purred as she walked over to Sasuke. The last Uchiha just sighed and held back the urge to roll his eyes. Yet another woman was hitting on him. He pulled out money from his pocket.

"Does it matter?" Sasuke asked with a bored tone as he placed the money on the counter. Yumi quirked a brow and smiled. She placed her hand over the money and slid it towards herself. A pink tongue peeked out of her mouth as she licked her lips.

"Because if you were too young, it would be considered rape…" she said as she winked. Sasuke said nothing, but his eyes narrowed. His mouth was in a thin line. He was growing tired of this.

"Get me my drink…" Sasuke said icily. Yumi frowned and went over to the lopsided shelf were the drinks were. Sasuke sighed and looked around. There looked to be only a few bar patrons, probably because of that physco she mentioned.

"Here is your drink, Sir" Yumi said as she placed Sasuke's drink beside him. He picked it up and took a sip. The warm liquid felt good against his throat. Setting down his drink, he waved the bar tender over. Curiosity was getting the best of him.

"What caused the guy that guy to tear this place apart?" Sasuke asked. Yumi shook her head and snorted. Sliding the Sake bottle over to herself, she made a cup for herself. Hopping over the counter, she sat beside Sasuke.  
"He was complaining about how he looked. Then he started whining about lost love, and then he lost it," Yumi said before she gulped down her drink. Sasuke scoffed at what she said. This guy sounded like a loser.

"Love is an illusion, it doesn't exist. This guy isn't just a loser for just crying over something that doesn't exist, but believing it too," Sasuke said smoothly. Yumi looked over at Sasuke. She clicked her tongue.

"Would you like some cake? It cures emo… Seriously though, this guy seemed really upset about this Sakura girl," Yumi said. Sasuke clenched his cup tighter and turned his head to look at her. He was totally taken by surprise.

"What did you say? Sakura?" Sasuke started, he sounded angry "Who was the guy?"

Yumi eyed Sasuke with a confused expression. He had been calm and mostly neutral this whole time, but now he wasn't. Something clicked in her mind. An evil smile found its way to her face. She took another sip of her drink.

"You're jealous aren't you?" Yumi said. Sasuke almost choked on his sake. Wiping his mouth, he set the drink now. He looked over at Yumi as if she was crazy. Yet, he didn't say anything for a minute or two.

"I am not jealous…" Sasuke said in a deadly tone. Taking the bottle of sake from Yumi he prepared to pour himself another glass, but decided a moment later to just drink from the bottle. He started guzzling it down.

"Whoa. Listen Kid, I don't think you should do that," Yumi said. She feared that if Sasuke was anything like Lee, the bar would be gone by tomorrow. Sasuke definitely looked a lot more threatening than Lee did.

"Get me more…" Sasuke sneered before sticking his tongue out and licking the tip of the bottle. Yumi blinked. That move turned her on for some reason. Jumping over the bar again, she decided to grab another bottle.

She grabbed the bottle, but before she went back over to Sasuke she turned on the radio. She walked back over to Sasuke and set the bottle in front of him. His eyes were hooded now and a sexy smile was on his face.

"Good girl…" he said. Yumi almost melted. All she had to do was get him a little more drunk. A giggle left her lips. Then she noticed Sasuke mumbling as he drank. She listened closely and realized he was singing lyrics to the song on the radio. Her eyes widened.

"You can dress me up in diamonds  
You can dress me up in dirt  
You can throw me like a lineman  
I like it better when it hurts  
Oh I have waited here for you  
I have waited"

He started shifting in his seat. Then his voice was getting a little bit louder and louder. Till finally his voice bounced off the walls in the bar. The other patrons of the bar turn their heads to look at him. Sasuke gulped down another glass and started up again.

"You make me wanna lala  
In the kitchen  
On the floor  
I'll be a French maid  
When I meet you at the door  
I'm like an alley cat  
Drink the milk up I want more  
You make me wanna  
You make me wanna scream"

Sasuke stood up and moved away from the stool. He braced his hands on the table and arched his back. Yumi watched on in utter awe and astonishment. Sasuke smirked and winked at her. Yumi almost died. Sasuke clamored up onto the counter.

"You can meet me on an aero plane  
Or in the back of the bus  
You can throw me like a boomerang  
I'll come back and beat you up  
Oh I have waited here for you  
Don't keep me waiting"

Sasuke started doing the pelvic thrust. He was moving it around town. Yumi took another swig of her drink. This was better than cable. Hell, this was almost better than sex as long as it led up to it. The way that boy moved his hips.

"You make me wanna lala  
In the kitchen  
On the floor  
I'll be a French maid  
When I meet you at the door  
I'm like an alley cat  
Drink the milk up I want more  
You make me wanna  
You make me wanna scream

I feel safe with you  
I can be myself tonight  
I'ts alright with you  
'Cause you hold my secrets tight  
You do, you do  
You make me wanna lala lalala lalala lalalala lala  
you make me wanna la lalala"

Sasuke's fingers twiddled at the end of his shirt and then he ripped it off. Yumi cat-called in the crowd that had now formed around the counter. After the shirt was gone, Sasuke swooped down and grabbed the sake bottle. He began to use the bottle as a microphone and occasionally would take a gulp.

"You make me wanna lala  
In the kitchen  
On the floor  
I'll be a French maid  
When I meet you at the door  
I'm like an alley cat  
Drink the milk up I want more  
You make me wanna  
You make me wanna lala  
In the kitchen  
On the floor  
I'll be a French maid  
When I meet you at the door  
I'm like an alley cat  
Drink the milk up I want more  
You make me wanna  
You make me wanna scream

You make me wanna lala lalala lalala lalala la (x3)"

Sasuke stroke a pose at the end. The sweat that had accumulated during the song glistened on his chest. The audience that he had gained clapped and cheered. Sasuke smirked and sauntered out of the bar.

Yumi had a goofy smile on her face. He was so hot. She was drooling during half the young. It was possibly the bets performance she had seen in a long time. The more she thought about, she realized it was the only show she'd seen in a long time. Then she realized something else…

"Shit…he forgot to pay for that sake"

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In case you didn't see at the top, this chapter was written by Inuyasha4eva. All compliments to her! 


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